Prologue
Chapter I - Background
Chapter II - Goddess and Mother Goddess
Chapter III - The Slave’s New Life
Chapter IV - Questions for the Slave
Chapter V - Questions for the Owner
Chapter VI - Snap Shots in Time
Chapter VII - Vignettes
Chapter VIII - The Future
Epilogue
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Prologue
This is a work of reality-based fiction - actually, it is a great deal more reality than fiction. It’s based on the life of real people; primarily Alex, a life-long lesbian and resolute pain slut, and others involved in her life, including her Owner Jen, also a lesbian and a full-fledged sadist, plus a few of her owner’s friends and lovers.
The story teller received the vast majority of the material reported in this work directly, and without reservation, from those involved. The names of some of the principal characters have been changed at their request. Alex’s identity has been made known in other publications.
The writer has taken some editorial liberties to fill in the gaps in the story as it was told to him. He has rephrased certain thoughts and details for clarity, and has added punctuation, and made smaller paragraphs of larger ones for the convenience of the reader. Certainly, his assessments of various motivational and psychological issues contained in the story are his own.
The story, at the start, describes some personal history of the central figure to give depth, dimension, and perspective to the very unusual turn of events in her life. The story then proceeds aggressively; perhaps in ways not imaginable. It certainly is not for the under-aged or for those who might be offended by one lesbian’s harsh treatment of another. And, it is certainly not for the faint of heart or stomach.
In net, if you proceed to read the entire story, you do so at your own risk.
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Chapter I Background-
Alex -The Early Formative Years:
Alex was born in 1973. She was orphaned before she was a teenager when her parents were killed in a violent automobile crash.
She just knew her parents couldn’t be dead; she loved them so very much, and they were so young, vital, healthy, and full of life. She had no relatives that she knew of. She went into an emotional tail spin, after their deaths. She, more and more, deeply missed her parents and remembered them as brilliant, handsome, wealthy, and God-fearing members of the community.
Alex idealized her parents, especially her Mother. As a maturing youngster, she looked at their pictures and cried at night over her loss. She just knew, somehow that she was, either directly or indirectly, responsible for her parents death. She was mighty upset with God as well; after all, He took her loving parents from her.
Alex was plagued by the thought that she might have had some responsibility for causing her parents death. “Catholic guilt,” the feeling of personal responsibility for just about anything that is done, or not done, in a persons life, grew to the level of an obsession with her.
She had heard about the virtues of suffering, deprivation, and service and the torment God endured for her. She knelt in the pews at her church as a young girl and saw the depictions of the early martyrs immortalized in their sufferings.
She saw the statues of a young, holy man, humiliated, his body terribly whipped and tortured in a way so horrible that Greek citizens were never to be so cruelly treated, yet his face conveyed an expression of contentment, peace and fulfillment. These subliminal images and thoughts seem to have set the stage for a masochistic and submissive bent of personality later in her life.
By her own reckoning, Alex, at the early age of thirteen, began to have fantasies about her own compulsive need to suffer, to be submissive, and to be deferential to those who had stronger personalities than herself. She now accepts exploitation and sacrifices of her own self interests while retaining a secret sense of moral superiority in the process.
In net, she has created an alternate “self” to earn acceptance, comfort, and love, and at times is an emotional and conflicted mess.
Alex acknowledges that she seriously obsesses over past events of a personal and interpersonal nature. Every word, every gesture, every look, of the people who are important in her life are replayed in her mind - etched in her memory with impact. She can recount details of conversations and events with amazing clarity.
In her own right, as a teenager, Alex was brilliant and very attractive. She attended one of the most elite prep schools in her area. Everyone made a big fuss over her, yet she was alone in her grieving thoughts even though she was being cared for well in a series of foster homes.
Then, a loving couple, from her parent’s church, felt compassion for the troubled girl and legally adopted her quite some time after her natural parents had died. She never believed that her adoptive family totally embraced her uniqueness or fully understood her.
She tried sex with boys a few times during her high school years and hated it. She did become attracted to another girl, Bonnie, at age sixteen and enjoyed her first lesbian orgasm at that age. Their lesbian relationship lasted briefly until they went different ways to college.
Being as smart as she was, she completed high school without much intellectual effort. But, as was common, those high school years were hard years emotionally; years of change, experimentation, insecurity, and hormonal turmoil. And, hers all the more so, because she also was dealing with a sense of loss and the trauma of parental abandonment.
The College Years:
Alex graduated with a degree in Literature from a prestigious university in New York, completing a four year program in three years. It was there that she met Jill, a cute, red head. Jill was also a lesbian at the time, but who turned out to be have a bi-sexual appetite.
Jill was petite, and oh so pretty; much like Alex herself. Alex says that she needed Jill and her love at that very moment in her life. Jill made Alex feel like she belonged to someone again; that she was special, and that she was loved. Alex really did need those assurances.
Unfortunately, Jill also needed to sleep with the Lit Professor and Alex found out about it. Her standards of personal honor and propriety had been violated. She tore up all the love poetry written to her by Jill, and threw away the ring which she had given her. Alex had been abandoned again. But, she didn’t look back, or look for an alternative to help her stabilize her shaky emotional life until much later.
After getting her BA degree, with honors, Alex was accepted at Harvard University where she studied for her Juris Doctorate and a Masters of Business Administration. To be accepted in these prestigious, and joint, graduate programs required her to obtain the approval of the Deans of both the Law and Graduate Business Schools in a newly designed program for students worthy of the distinction.
She graduated magna cum laude, in the top 10%, from the Law School and the MBA program. She completed both programs in three years by the age of twenty four.
She also had completed all of her course work for a Ph.D. in Education. However, she is an “all butta,” meaning that she finished her course work but, because she has not been allowed the time necessary to complete her doctoral thesis, she didn’t get the degree, and may never finish it even though she is the consummate achiever.
Most who know her feel Alex is a genius in the most literal, and measurable, sense of that word. She claims to have a photographic memory and a highly developed memory for past conversation. These factors, along with her repeated displays of record setting academic achievements, more than suggest a compulsive bent of personality as well.
The Years of Increased Personal Turmoil:
After completing her graduate level education, before the age of twenty-four, Alex was offered a first-rate job, by a prestigious investment banking firm, with a global reach, as an investment banker based in New York City. But, shortly after that time, she also faced a very intense, and uniquely private challenge.
To cap off her unrelenting obsession to rationalize her being the natural child of brilliant and good looking parents whom she imagined she might have had a part in killing, and the usassuaged guilt that resulted from that thought, she found out, a year after her employment at the age of twenty-five, that she was the beneficiary of a huge, multi-million dollar, trust fund.
The trust fund money actually made her guilt feelings all the more intense. Everything she was, both physically and mentally, and virtually every dollar she owned, was as a result of the largess of her natural parents. She now was saddled with even more guilt as she had not only inherited the brains and beauty of her parents, but also the fortune left to her by her parents - the parents which she somehow thought she was complicit in killing. It nagged her to ask the question “Was all that money the result of some ill gotten gain?”
When her trust fund came due, she decided to divest herself of that money quickly. She reinvested the money in a hedge fund which she and a colleague managed. She was a good investor and had some well developed investment strategies which all worked with great financial success. Ultimately, she cashed in her hedge fund account and use the money to purchase an estate, overlooking Long Island Sound, within commuting of New York City.
The estate was located on a parcel of over seven acres and had a great view of the Sound. The main residence was close to 100 years old and needed quite a bit of renovation at the time she bought it. Alex directed the restoration diligently and magnificently. The house had four stories and was over 12,000 square feet in size. The property originally had a stable which had been converted to a guest house in the pre-war period,
The estate is quite private and was surrounded by mature plantings and old high, iron, gates. On the water side, the house was up a high hill with a gated stairway leading down to the beach, dock and boathouse. Also, on the grounds was an outdoor brick fire pit, a pool and a tennis court with a cabana between them.
More recently, a ‘playroom’ of considerable intricacy and erotic intent had been added.
Alex (Abigail) - Her Characteristics and Features
Alex quickly started to impress the senior partners at her new firm. She was a girl on the move. As is often the case, personal success can be more stressful than failure but Alex worked to prove herself. She worked hard and made a lot of money for her clients, her firm, and herself.
Based on her business successes, she was elected partner of the firm at the almost unheard of age of 32. She does the work of several people and juggles multiple high pressure situations at once. At work, she works to stay in control of herself and every business situation. Her gross income annually is in the seven figure range; most of which comes in the form of a bonus at the end of the year.
Alex is five foot two inches tall, between 100 and 105 pounds, on any given day, with 30 inch hips, a 21 inch waist, and a 34 inch, C cup set of natural, firm, pear shaped, tits. Her nipples are long and sensitive. Her core is tight and flat. She has well muscled legs and tight gluteal muscles. Alex is shy about her looks, but when pressed she will say that her finest physical characteristics are her face and tits.
Her skin is very white and tans easily. Her hair is naturally brunette but, it is dyed a ‘dirty blond’ and kept at chin-length. Her eyes are green.
Alex is very flexible. She can spread her legs beyond wide. She works out every day and does yoga exercises; in a word she is “fit.”
Alex wears size 0 - 2 suits depending on the designer. The hems of her skirts and dress are at least three inches above her knees. She does not wear panties or panty hose - ever - but, on special occasions she does wear hose with a garter belt. She wears a size five shoe and can, with difficulty and discomfort, walk in five inch ballet boots.
In sum, Alex is a beautiful specimen of a women; perhaps an 8.5 on the traditional beauty scale. Boys and girls in her age bracket turn their heads to get a second glance when she walks by. She has an innocence in her face that belies her wobbly emotional side and her personal and professional status.
She is quite literally a genius as confirmed by her IQ and her LSAT scores which were in the 170 point range.
She has a nipple ring, and a bar behind the ring, in each nipple. Her belly button, clit, clit hood, tongue, and septum are pierced. She has three rings in each side of her labia lips. Along with the two ear ring holes she has had for many years, she has seventeen piercings in all.
She has tattoos; the word ‘slut’ is at the base of one of her tits and the word “slave” is on the other. She has the initials “JLW” tattooed on one thigh, next to her cunt and the word, “pain” on the other. On her back, she has the words, “beat me.” Alex has several scars; one under each tit, made intentionally just to mark her, and several scars on her back and legs caused by sever whippings.
Alex claims that now that she has a clit ring, her clit is a living breathing monster which drives her crazy. When her clit is exposed, it is so pleasurable that it is almost too intense and frustrating for her to endure.
The complicated clit ring and nose ring instillation procedures were done by a cute Russian girl she knew by the name of Tatiana. This girl also did all of the electrolysis work on Alex.
Alex got her full-body electrolysis procedure shortly after she became the property of Jen, almost five years ago. The procedure covered her whole body except her head and a small patch above her cunt, which she now must keep dyed bright red. It took seven sessions over a seven month period to do it all. And even then, she had to go back several times the following year to clean up some problem areas.
At the time, she was undergoing the electrolysis procedure, she experienced sever discomfort; at times she felt like she was getting stung, over and over, by little wasps. At other times, it was like she was getting a needle or a quick sharp burn. Now that its completed, her skin just feels silky smooth and is easily maintained, which she thinks is very nice.
Her menstrual period is usually regular and lasts four or five days. But sometimes, due to stress and physical abuse, it just doesn’t come at all. If it doesn’t come regularly, she gets bad cramping and a heavier flow when it does come. She admits that the week before her period, she gets bitchy and hyper-emotional, that her tits get sore and sensitive, and that she gets very horny.
Alex has an deep-seated sense of formal religion and religious ritual established from her early years. She carries guilt from her early years and displays a highly developed set of obsessive-compulsive personality characteristics with her into full adulthood. It is clear that her desire for a sadomasochistic life had early roots which are now on exhibit her private life, however less than twenty people currently know of her unusual affinity for degradation and slavery.
She does not crave or even enjoy the pain and fear she endures from her relationship with Jen and her friends. Yet, the dread she experiences is wonderful. The anticipation of her inevitable degradation is exquisite. She will experience elation knowing she survived her torment and triumphed, and she will get a palpable sense of erotic excitement feeling her body heal and become whole again.
She does get great personal satisfaction from serving her Owner by enduring the crushing challenges her Owner sets for her. And, she knows she secretly desires all that tension and pain because they make her cunt soaking wet, proving to herself that that is what she ultimately needs.
It isn’t about the pain itself - it’s about the related emotional excitement, anticipation, triumph, exultation and satisfaction, she feels from pleasing and serving her, very real, personal Goddess.
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