Chapter 4
She finally let me go and got in the car. I went around and got in. While I was putting my seatbelt on she said, "Paul, I really don't need anything. Let's just go home."
I ignored her. I drove to a little Italian restaurant that I discovered nearby shortly after I got out of prison. The food is excellent and since the lunch hour rush is over I hoped it wouldn't be too crowded. I pulled up and parked in the parking lot around the side. I got out and went around to open the door for her. She was too quick for me.
I locked the car and took her hand to lead the way to the restaurant. When she realized where we were going she whispered, "Paul, I've never been to a restaurant. I don't know what to do."
I squeezed her hand and replied, "It's simple. You relax. You enjoy being waited on. You order something to eat that you think you might enjoy. And then you sit there and we talk and get to know each other a little better."
She wasn't convinced. "I don't know what I like. I've never had a chance to try things."
"Well then this is your chance, your first of many. There are some things that almost everyone likes. We can start with those. If you don't like them, no big deal. You will at least have learned that you don't like something. It's a place to start."
We went in and sat down. We ordered drinks. After the waiter left she smiled and said, "It certainly smells good!"
"Have you ever had pizza?"
"Sometimes we have frozen pizza from the grocery store. I've never had it in a restaurant."
"The first two things you should try are a good pizza and lasagna. Those things and a good steak are the things I missed most while I was locked up."
"I don't know what lasagna is. I've heard of it. But I've never seen it."
"It's like a cheesy Italian casserole. Why don't we start with that? Then tonight we can have a nice thick steak. I bet you've never had one of those either."
"I had cube steak a couple of times."
I shook my head and said, "That isn't even really food!"
The waiter brought our drinks and some spiced olive oil and fresh baked bread. I tried to find out more about her, her likes and dislikes, the way she was raised, that sort of thing.
It was infuriating. She has experienced so little that she doesn't know what she likes. So far her favorite food is meatloaf. The only other meats she has eaten are hot dogs and cube steak!
She doesn't have any music of her own. They have a radio and she was allowed to listen to it. But she wasn't permitted to change the station. She has no CDs and no CD player and hasn't been exposed to much of the music her peers listen to.
I have mixed feelings about that since I don't like being exposed to the music her generation is listening to either.
They have cable television but when her parents weren't home she wasn't allowed to watch television. She has never bought anything for herself. She has never been given any money.
She has been doing almost all of the housework but never received an allowance. She was allowed to read when she had time. But only books from the public library and even her trips there were regulated.
She has a few friends at school. But she has never been allowed to see them outside of school. Except in her imagination she has never played! When her parents were home and her chores were done for the evening she was allowed to be in the room and watch television with them until nine o'clock. But they never spoke to her except to discuss chores. They never showed her any affection.
I finally had to change the subject or I was going to go across the street this evening and beat those bastards to a bloody pulp. I was so upset I couldn't eat my lunch.
Tawney, on the other hand, went crazy! I watched as she took her first tentative bite of lasagna. Her face lit up and she whispered, "Oh my god! It's like it makes your mouth happy!"
I laughed as she devoured her lunch. I warned her that her stomach has probably shrunk and she's going to get a stomach ache if she doesn't slow down. She grinned and said, "I don't care! It'll be worth it!"
She ate like that until her plate looked like it had been washed. She sat back when her food was gone and smiled at me. Then she saw the look on my face and frowned.
"What's wrong?!"
I shook my head. I didn't trust myself to speak. I was on the verge of making a big fool of myself. She's such a nice young girl. To live the way she's been forced to live while her parents lived in the lap of luxury far above their ability to maintain, I'll never understand it. How could they live with this little girl and not love her?!
I paid for our lunch and we walked around for a few minutes. I stopped at a drug store and bought some antacids. I'm pretty sure she's going to need them. Then I drove to a nearby mall. I made the mistake of selecting one of those village type malls that are springing up all over the place. The stores are laid out in streets like small towns.
It was a warm, sunny day and I thought it would be the perfect place to shop. I didn't think about all of the time I was going to spend carrying bags of clothing and goodies as I made a running start at making up to Tawney for the way she has been forced to live all these years.
Poor Tawney didn't know how to react. She was excited and she couldn't hide it. But at the same time she felt guilty that I was spending so much money on her. She was embarrassed, probably because her parents spent a lifetime putting her down, making her feel unworthy. She must have said "thank you" a hundred times before I finally told her that she isn't allowed to use that phrase for the rest of the day.
We went to nearly half the stores in that little village. I bought her so many outfits at two of the boutiques that specialize in clothing for girls her age that we had to leave them there and come back later with the car to pick them up.
We made half a dozen trips back to my SUV to put bags in the back. Once we finished shopping for clothes I bought her an armful of books, hopefully a start to her own book collection. It pleased me to learn that she loves to read. It was her only escape from reality while she was living with her parents. I hope that she'll continue to enjoy reading.
She constantly amazed me with her intelligence and her maturity. I found that I don't have to worry around her just because I don't know anything about kids. I was able to relate to her just as I would to anyone else. I began to relax and just enjoy her happiness, her warm sense of humor and that brilliant smile.
It took us hours. We bought her everything that I thought a girl her age might need except for those things that we'll need to go to an electronics store to pick up.
The back of my SUV was full and the back seat had just about reached full capacity by the time we called it a day. On the way home I told her that we would pick up a few more things tomorrow. She needs a cell phone and an iPod. I intend to get her a computer of her own and a television for her room.
She continued to insist that I stop spending money on her. She doesn't have a chance of stopping me. I'm having a ball! Every time I saw her face light up it was like Christmas for me. And I've missed a lot of Christmases.
We got home at a little after five. We were both exhausted. We didn't unload the car right away. There was something that we had to do first. I had purchased a tiny thong bikini for Amber and an equally revealing Speedo for Dan. I printed out a note ordering Amber to mow the front and side lawns in her new bathing suit. When she finishes, Dan is to do the backyard in his while she washes her car in the driveway.
I also picked up a new slut outfit for Amber. It was on sale because every other woman in town evidently has too much pride to wear it. The note commanded Amber to wear the tiny skirt and low cut blouse to work tomorrow. She was not to wear any underwear at all.
Dan was ordered to dress in his normal clothing when he goes to work tomorrow. But he's to wear a pair of Amber's panties instead of his underwear.
We took the two suits and the outfit for Amber across the street and left them where they would find them. I checked to make sure that Dan wouldn't have any privacy in his backyard. I didn't want Amber to have all the fun. Then Tawney and I returned to our house and began unloading the car.
We were exhausted by the time we finished. I suggested that she put her new clothes away after dinner. Instead, we put our swimsuits on and relaxed in the pool for a while. I was too tired to swim laps. Shopping takes a lot out of a guy. But Tawney was so excited she couldn't relax.
I heard a lawnmower running at around six thirty. We went inside and peeked out through the dining room window. There was Amber, mowing the lawn in her flesh colored string bikini. From our window she looked naked. Even from this distance I was able to see how red her face is. It contrasted nicely with her snow white butt and the large white areas of her breasts that have never seen the light of day before. Her new bikini doesn't cover much more than her nipples and the cleft between her legs.
It probably didn't make her feel any better that she was attracting an audience. One of her neighbors was standing out in his driveway watching in disbelief. And three teenage boys on bicycles had stopped in the street to watch.
Amber tried to ignore them. She kept her head down and followed the lawnmower around the front yard. Every time she turned and pushed in the other direction I could see the muscles in her tight little butt tense up with each step. It was worth every cent I paid for those little scraps of cloth she was wearing.
We watched her for a few minutes. Then we went back out to my patio. I lit the grille and we sat at a table under an awning while it warmed up. After a few comments about the spectacle that Amber was making of herself I took Tawney's hands in mine and got serious.
She sensed that I had something important to say and waited patiently. The problem is that I've been thinking all day that we need to have this conversation but I still don't know how to say what I need to say. Sex is such a confusing subject in the best of times and this is not one of those.
I cleared my throat and was about to speak when she started to grin. She said, "I know what this is going to be about. You're blushing!"
I was. I couldn't help it. But I don't think I can let the events of last night and this afternoon in the bar pass without saying something. I don't know what to say or where to start. But I know that I have to say something.
"Tawney, sweetheart, I can't believe I'm in this position. You're a very intelligent young woman. You have really impressed me. But after the really bad things I've done in front of you, or caused to be done in front of you, I think we need to talk.
"I now regret very much that I didn't put my foot down last night and send you to your room. And I'm sorry that I let you go with me to that bar today. Those things you saw are things that no twelve year old girl should ever see.
"I know what you're thinking. Amber had it coming. And I agree. Obviously I agree since those things were my idea. But the things young people see when they're your age can affect them in ways we don't understand.
"What you saw in your living room last night and in the bar, we don't know how that will affect you later when you become sexually active. We can't control the things that excite us and I have no idea how the things you saw might affect your fantasies when you're sixteen or twenty-one. I'm really worried that I may have harmed you in ways that neither one of us understands.
"I don't want you thinking somewhere in the back of your warped little teenage mind that the things you've seen were acceptable behavior. No one should ever treat a woman the way I treated Amber. Not a normal woman anyway. Since Amber isn't really human I don't include her in that. What scares me is that you might lie in bed at night and think about the things you saw and think it was sexy, that it was exciting, that it was sexual.
"It wasn't sex. It was rape. It was assault. It was meant to humiliate and denigrate her. I'm really worried about how I might have harmed you with the images I've planted in your mind and I am deeply sorry that I didn't put more thought into my actions."
She listened quietly until I wound down. Then she thought about what I said for a while. Finally she grinned and said, "You're kind of cute for an old guy."
Before I could think of some way to defend myself against that charge she said, "I understand what you're saying. I admit that I don't know that much about sex. But you don't have to worry that I mistook what has happened to Amber for sex.
"I know why you did what you did. I promise you, there's nothing you can do to her that's so bad that I might think you're going too far. I'll admit that it was exciting to watch it when it was happening to her. But I would certainly never want any of those things to happen to me, if that's what you're worried about."
"I'm worried because these are formative years for you and we don't know how you will be affected by what you saw. I'm worried because you've apparently never known love and never witnessed two people in a healthy, loving relationship. It's obvious to me that Amber and Dan don't love anyone but themselves. They don't even love each other!
"They're the two coldest, most self centered people that I've ever met outside of a prison. They're perfect for each other I suppose. But you need to realize that they aren't normal."
She replied, "I've always known that my life isn't like anyone else's. I have girlfriends at school who I talk to about stuff. I know that my life hasn't been normal. There have been a lot of nights that I cried myself to sleep wishing that there was someone that would just hold me and tell me they love me. When you held me in your lap and hugged me last night it was like a dream come true for me. You're the nicest thing that has ever happened to me.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't have seen the things I saw last night and today. But I got a lot of satisfaction from it.
"I never thought of getting even with them. But when I saw you taking your revenge I have to admit, it felt good. I liked seeing that bitch suffer. You took her power away. You took Dan's power away. And you're the first person in my life who has been nice to me. I know you're worried. And I think I understand why. But I don't think I'm going to have a problem sorting this out. So why don't you relax and stop being so hard on yourself.
"And since we're being serious, can I ask you something else?"
I nodded. I was impressed once more by how intelligent, how clear headed she is. I really like this kid!
"I know you don't think you'd make a good father, or that you would be comfortable with having me around. But I like you. I like you a lot. I'd really like to stay with you if I can. I promise that I'll be the best kid you could ever imagine. I'll clean your house and do the yard work. I'm used to doing that. I don't mind."
I held my finger up to her lips to stop her before she made any more promises I had no intention of making her keep. When she ran down I said, "I have to admit that I am quickly growing very fond of you. You aren't nearly as scary as I thought you'd be."
I saw that she was getting excited so I hurriedly threw a little cold water on her.
"Keep in mind that we haven't even spent twenty-four hours together yet. I still know nothing about young girls. And even if I do start to think that it might be kind of nice to have you around, it's extremely unlikely that a single man just released from prison is going to be able to convince a family court judge or some officious little bureaucrat at Social Services that it's in your best interests to give him custody of a young girl just entering her teen years."
There were tears in her eyes when she asked, "Would it be okay if I gave you a hug for even thinking about it?"
I got up and went around the table. I helped her to her feet and held her in my arms. The feeling of warmth, the desire to protect this poor girl was almost overwhelming. More than ever I wanted to kick myself in the ass for the things I exposed her to from the time I went to her house yesterday evening.
I squeezed her tight and kissed her cheek. I said, "You never have to ask for a hug from me, Tawney."
We stood like that for a long time. I felt her shaking gently as she cried in my arms. It was breaking my heart. She's so starved for affection. Her entire life has been spent as a possession, a slave girl. She has never played! I'm really going to have to keep a tight grip on my temper when I next come into contact with Amber and Dan.
I finally eased her back into her chair. I bent down and kissed the top of her head and in a voice that cracked with the emotion I was feeling I said, "It's time to cook the steaks."
I hurried inside before I started crying. I got the steaks out of the refrigerator and grabbed another beer for me and a Coke for Tawney. I picked up a box of tissue on the way out and dropped them on the table along with our drinks.
I almost asked her how she wants her steak. But it occurred to me that she won't have any idea. I like mine rare. But knowing that most people prefer medium I prepared hers that way. I went back inside for plates and flatware and the little bit of potato salad that remained from earlier in the week.
When I came back out she said, "Please let me help you. I'm not used to having people do things for me. It makes me uncomfortable."
"You can help later. Today you get waited on. Learn to like it."
I flipped the steaks and stood waiting for them to be ready. She came over and stood beside me. She put her arms around my waist from behind and exclaimed, "I've never smelled anything that smelled so good in my life!"
I reached back and pulled her out from behind me. I put my arm around her shoulder and said, "Wait until you taste it! I made yours medium rare. I prefer rare but most people go for medium. I'll give you a taste of mine and you can decide how you like yours for next time. But I'm warning you right now, I refuse to cook a steak to death. People who order their steaks well done are abusing the word 'well' and have never actually tasted a steak. They shouldn't be allowed to eat them."
As it turned out she couldn't taste the difference between our steaks. She loved them both. She's nearly thirteen years old and today she tasted lasagna and steak for the first time. Now THAT is child abuse!
After we ate she helped me clean off the table. We carried everything inside and she watched me load the dishwasher. When I was finished she said, "I always wash the dishes. Our dishwasher has never been used."
We went upstairs and split up to take showers. We changed into something comfortable and met in my computer room. I looked out through my window. Dan was finished mowing the backyard now. He was just putting the mower in the garage.
Amber was still washing her car in her invisible bikini. The teenage boys were sitting out by the street, leaning against a big old tree and watching her every move. She looked furious, even from the back! But she studiously ignored the boys.
It seemed like there were an unusual number of people, men by themselves and couples, too, who were walking slowly by on the sidewalk while she worked. She finished while I was watching and quickly put everything away. She pulled her car into the garage and disappeared inside.
Tawney caught the last couple of minutes of the show. I told her that I was going to listen to more of the recordings to make sure that Amber and Dan aren't making plans I needed to know about for my own protection.
I remembered her reaction to some of the awful things they said last night and I asked her if she thought she could handle it. I made it very clear that I thought she might better go watch television.
She insisted that she wanted to hear what they have to say.
I looked into her eyes. She saw my reluctance and said, "Really, Paul. I need to hear what they say about me."
"Why? Why do you want to suffer more than necessary?"
She shrugged and said, "I'm not sure. When you're done with them I'll never see them again. Maybe I want to put a nice solid wall between us. I want to make sure that there's never any doubt someday down the road. There should never come a time when I wonder if maybe I misjudged them. I should never think that maybe they were human and I just didn't give them a chance."
I didn't necessarily agree but I was impressed with the amount of thought she must have put into this before coming to a conclusion. I couldn't believe I was hearing such wisdom from a twelve year old. I shook my head and said, "I think you're setting yourself up for unnecessary heartaches. But we can see how it goes. If it makes you too uncomfortable you can always get up and leave."
I pulled out all three disks and replaced them. Then I pulled her into my lap. She sat with her back to me. I put my arms around her and we sat back to listen to the disk from the living room.
Tawney leaned her head back on my shoulder and placed her hands over mine on her stomach as though she was afraid I would let go. In a quiet voice she said, "I don't think I ever really realized how wonderful it is to have someone nice, someone I really like, hold me in his arms. I feel so safe. I feel so ... I feel like I'm not alone anymore."
I felt my heart swelling with feelings for this little girl. I was becoming more convinced that maybe the best place for her is with me after all. In the few years of adolescence that remain to her I could give her the childhood she never had. I could show her love and give her a future. I could make up in some small way for the terrible life she has lived.
I've been deprived of love and affection for as long as she has. That may have something to do with how quickly I'm becoming emotionally attached to this charming young girl.
I finally forced myself to pay attention to the sounds from the disk. There were a few brief exchanges between Amber and Dan from this morning. They snapped at each other as Amber was getting ready to leave for work. They had obviously been fighting. But we didn't learn anything.
It was more amusing when they came home and discovered that they had homework and that outfits had been provided. Amber came in and discovered them first. She screamed wordlessly and then she could be heard swearing like a sailor and throwing things around the room.
Dan got home soon afterwards. He loudly proclaimed that I could just go to hell. He absolutely refused to wear the Speedo or be told that he would have to mow his own backyard.
Amber exclaimed, "You stupid fuck! Of course you will! Until we take care of that son of a bitch we have to do whatever he wants. Or do you want to go to prison for the rest of your fucking life?!"
Dan mumbled something the bug didn't pick up and Amber screamed, "DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TODAY?! I can pretty much guarantee that I had a worse fucking day than you have ever had! I went to a fucking bar full of dirty old men and was gang raped on a table. That was my lunch hour! Three men fucked my ass today you son of a bitch!
"And now I'm going to mow our front yard in ... in that! I might as well be fucking naked! I don't want to hear you complain about having to wear a fucking pair of panties!
"And don't tell me you aren't going to wear a fucking Speedo for Christ's sake! I'm going to be as good as naked! And look at that! Look at what I have to wear to work tomorrow! FUCK!!"
Dan said nothing else about the order that he wear Amber's panties tomorrow.
The recorder went dead for several minutes. They had gone upstairs to change. When they returned and the recorder came back on they were discussing how to get another gun that couldn't be traced to them and they were discussing the pros and cons of killing their daughter. They've apparently already decided that it will be necessary. They're only concerned now with explaining her absence to anyone who might notice she's gone.
They discussed it so unemotionally. It made me shake with rage. Those two people are not quite right in the head. I found myself wanting once more to go across the street and put an end to this. I want to destroy them. I wanted to make them suffer. But the desire to beat them to a bloody pulp before I can accomplish that is almost irresistible.
I squeezed Tawney a little tighter and asked, "Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want to go watch television now?"
She sighed and said, "No. I'm okay. I've been thinking it over and I realized that the things they say don't really matter. I mean, what the hell, I never really loved them, either. I just never realized it until now. I've been going through life just taking everything as it came, accepting everything as just how things work in my world.
"I can't remember ever feeling love for either of them. I had a need to be loved. But they certainly never filled that void in my life. It's as if up until yesterday I knew something was missing in my life but I wasn't sure what it was or where to find it."
She gripped my arms, pulled them tighter around her midsection and said, "Now I know what was missing and I think I've finally found it."
I kissed the back of her head and said, "Maybe you have. But if that's true, why do you need to hear this?"
"I'm not sure. Because it makes us a team?"
"We can be a team without you listening to your psychotic parents plot our deaths."
She stubbornly refused to listen to reason. So I sat up and put the disk from the bedroom in the computer. It started with the argument from last night. I couldn't call it a conversation. They growled and snapped at each other like partially domesticated dogs.
They argued and plotted and argued some more until long into the night. Almost half of it was her telling him what a wimp he was because he let me rape her while he stood right there watching.
There wasn't much time in between their arguing for any substantive plotting. They made several attempts to calm down and try to figure out how to go about finding out where I live and the identity of the detective who will also have to be killed. But each time they got down to serious plotting their discussion quickly devolved into another shouting match.
They went on like that until they finally shut up and went to sleep. You could almost hear them, lying there in the dark and steaming, furious with each other. It did my heart good.
I gathered from their conversation that they assumed I had parked my car at the end of the block and walked to their house yesterday evening. They still have no idea that I live across the street from them.
There was very little conversation in the morning. Dan didn't get up when Amber did. She got up, showered and dressed with hardly a word. The only thing she said when she left him in bed to go downstairs was, "I'm taking the gun."
There were a few sounds later when Dan got up and got ready for work. But the two of them didn't speak to each other again until they came home and discovered the presents that I left for them.
I fast forwarded a lot of the mindless tirades recorded on the disks. Listening to them is quite a chore and it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. When we finished I carefully labeled the disks and put them in cases. Then we went downstairs and watched a movie.
As it turns out, Tawney wasn't allowed to see many movies either. I let her pick one and we got comfortable on the couch. I sat on one end with my feet up on the coffee table and she cuddled up in my arms.
I knew that it was worse for her. But to some degree we both suffered from the same thing. We were both starved for affection. But she has suffered from it for her entire life. I can't even imagine what it must be like to grow up without love. I can make it up to her, up to a point. But she still needs a woman in her life, a good woman to guide her and advise her.
Tawney isn't alone in that respect. I still need a woman in my life. It's wonderful having this fantastic young girl to love and spoil. But I also need a woman in my life. I need romance. I need an adult relationship.
I tried not to dwell on it. But I couldn't help being nervous when I thought about it. I didn't know if any woman in her right mind would want me now. But I miss the idea of being in love. I miss that warm feeling you get from holding a woman in your arms, looking into her eyes and seeing that your feelings for her are returned. I don't want to live my life without a partner, without passion.
Unfortunately, the search for love will have to wait until this business with Amber and Dan is taken care of.
I experienced a sudden moment of clarity then. My life is still on hold because of those two. I can't move on until they're no longer the focus of my life. The smart thing for me to do would be to take everything I have to the cops tomorrow and let them handle it. But I can't do that. The need to pay them back first is eating me alive. It's a fire burning in my gut. I have to put it out before I can move on.
The movie ended and we went upstairs to go to bed. Tawney stopped at the door to my bedroom and asked, "We're like a family now, aren't we?"
I nodded.
"Shouldn't I have some chores? I don't even know where the vacuum is. I don't know how to cook the foods you like. But there are things I can do."
I smiled and said, "Your only chore right now is to be a teenage girl. I have a very nice woman that comes in twice a week and cleans. A couple of men come around every week and do the yard work. I'll teach you what little I've learned about cooking so that when you grow up and go away to college you won't starve to death. But that's something we can do together, not something that you'll do for me."
She cocked her head and I saw the sudden emotions written all over her face when she realized that I just suggested that she'll be staying here until she goes away to college. I hope I can make it happen.
I took a couple of steps and held her in my arms. She was crying quietly and it tore me up. I whispered, "I can't help it. You're as adorable as a puppy. I love you. But don't lose sight of the fact that mine is not the final word on this. I probably shouldn't have sounded so confident. We're going to have to convince some people in authority that you're safe here before this is all over."
Through her quiet sobs she whispered, "I love you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me back."
I gave her a little squeeze and said, "Don't thank me. I couldn't help it. You're totally irresistible."
She stepped back and wiped her eyes on her arms. She smiled wanly and said, "Apparently not to everyone."
"You can't judge normal people by those two. There is something missing in them. They're the perfect couple. By that I mean they're perfect for each other."
She got a worried look on her face and said, "They're my parents. What if that ... that thing that's missing, what if I'm missing it too?"
I shook my head and said, "Don't worry. You aren't anything like them. You're pretty much perfect as far as I can tell."
She didn't look totally convinced.
I ran my fingers through her soft hair affectionately and said, "You just told me that you love me. Did you mean it?"
She nodded her head violently and exclaimed, "YES! God yes!"
I smiled and said, "Well, there you go. You aren't like them."
She looked so relieved. She visibly relaxed. I kissed her on the tip of her cute little nose and said, "Go to bed. We have things to do tomorrow."
I got up at my usual time the next morning and went for my run. I've measured off a pleasant route down some quiet streets and through a small nearby park. The route is almost exactly three miles. Between the running, swimming laps, and the room in my basement that I set up as a small gym I've been staying in pretty good shape.
I returned from my run to find coffee waiting for me. Tawney was up, dressed and eating a bowl of cereal.
When I came in she looked up and smiled sheepishly. She said, "I made your coffee and went to see if you were okay when you didn't come down. I almost panicked until I remembered that you go for a run in the morning."
I went around the table and kissed her. I smiled and said, "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere without you anytime soon."
I carried my coffee out to the dining room and watched Amber leave for work. She worked a full day yesterday so she'll be home early today. I watched the time and when I figured she would be just about to the bank I called her on her cell phone.
I heard the fear in her voice when she said, "Yes?"
"Unbutton the top button on your blouse and roll the waistband of your skirt under one more time before you go into the bank."
I hung up before she could reply.
I had two more calls to make. I made a call to the satellite company and told them that I need another room wired for television and another receiver. We scheduled that and then I called the cable company. I told them that I need another room wired for cable for my cable modem. I don't trust wireless modems and routers. I'm not that computer savvy and I'm afraid that I don't have the ability to set them up so that no one can access my private life. They gave me an appointment.
I went up and showered and dressed. It was late enough then to call Jon. I went to my computer room and dialed his number. I asked him if he wanted to pay Amber a visit this afternoon.
His answer was an enthusiastic yes. And he told me that he's seeing someone today to get the Medical Power of Attorney that I need for Tawney. I thanked him for that and then I said, "You told me that you know a lot of lawyers and judges. What do you suppose the chances are of making this arrangement permanent?"
There was a long pause and then he asked, "You aren't... ?"
It took me a moment to realize what he was asking. I exclaimed, "NO! GOD NO! No, it's just that, well, I've gotten kind of fond of her and I'd like to make up for the rotten childhood she's had. And she kind of likes me, too.
"Jon, I don't want the state to take custody of her when her parents get put away. I want her. I want ... I think I can make her happy."
He sighed and said, "Paul, I believe you. There's no doubt in my mind that you'd be good for her. But I have to be honest. I'm not sure if it'll be possible to convince someone who doesn't know you.
"Sitting back and looking at the cold, hard facts you have to admit that the idea of putting a young girl into a home with a guy who just got out after serving thirteen years of hard time, whether or not he was innocent, is quite a gamble."
"Yes. That has occurred to me. But maybe you can tell me who it is that I need to convince. There must be a way to do this."
He paused again. I heard the obvious skepticism in his voice when he said, "I'll try to make a few discreet inquiries. The problem is, if I'm not careful, if I ask the wrong people the wrong question, someone is going to step in and decide that they know what's best and they're going to come and get her. I'm sorry. But that's how the system works. It's very reactive and it doesn't stop to think. It just follows the rules."
I sighed loudly. I knew he was right. Finally I said, "I understand. Maybe you better let it go for now."
"I'm sorry, Paul."
I could tell from his voice that he really is sorry. But I knew he was right. He didn't tell me anything I hadn't already figured out for myself.
"I understand. Give me a call when you're on your way. I'll see you this afternoon."
I hung up and turned to see Tawney standing in the doorway. She smiled but I could see the tears in her eyes. She said, "Thanks for trying."
I went to her and held her in my arms. I hugged her and said, "I have not yet begun to fight. I've always heard that if you throw enough money at a gaggle of lawyers you can get anything done. Just be patient."
"You have already wasted enough money on me."
"I haven't wasted a penny. And even if I did it would be no big deal. I have a lot more pennies."
I took her hand and pulled her downstairs. I grabbed my car keys and headed for the store. One of the biggest shocks I got when I was released from prison was to learn that Circuit City went out of business. That was always the first place I went to shop for electronics. I was never that fond of Best Buys and I've never heard of hhgregg.
We went to hhgregg first. It turns out that they aren't the best place to shop for computers. I probably should have checked out a few of the independents, the local computer builders. But I have a list of things to get and I prefer one stop shopping whenever possible.
I drove to Best Buys and we went in. I stopped to grab one of those flatbed shopping carts. I figured we'd need it. With Tawney pleading with me to stop I made my way through the store.
We, or I should say I, selected a nice desktop computer and a large HD monitor. I selected a laptop for her, too. I figured she'd need it when school starts back up in the fall and if we get it now she has time to become familiar with it.
I picked up an iPod and a docking system for it. After making several dire threats I finally was able to make her select a couple dozen CDs. The only other small purchase I could think of was a cell phone. While she was shopping for CDs I added her to my cell phone plan and selected a nice phone for her.
She's going to be busy learning how to use all this crap for a while. I know she feels guilty about all the money I'm spending. But I have to tell you, I'm having a fucking ball!
She caught up with me just as I was settling up with the guy at the cell phone counter. I pushed my buggy over to the television section and selected a nice forty-two inch television, a sturdy stand and a Blueray player. The salesman took me up front and I paid for everything all at once. I picked up the television at the pickup counter and we were through shopping for electronics.
I loaded everything into the back of my big SUV while Tawney stood there looking like she was being punished. By the time I closed the tailgate it was almost lunch time.
I drove to my favorite pizza place. Tawney loved the lasagna yesterday. I know she's going to go crazy over real pizza instead of that grocery store crap. I can't imagine being her age and tasting pizza for the first time. Hell! I was almost weaned on it!
We were a little early for lunch so we had no trouble getting a table. The place is usually very busy. They make great pizza. They make other Italian dishes as well. But pizza is what they do best.
As usual the smell of garlic was making me salivate from the time we walked in. We sat and talked about what she likes to read and her favorite subjects in school. I've noticed that most of our conversations seem to be about unpleasant things, like her parents or my time in prison. I decided to make a conscious effort to lighten things up.
She became very animated when she started talking about her favorite books and her favorite authors. I've never heard of any of them. But it doesn't matter. It's a subject she's never been able to discuss before. Her parents never interact with her except to give her tasks to perform. She has friends at school but very little free time to enjoy their company. Maybe that can change now, too.
The pizza soon arrived. I watched her take her first bite. Her face lit up and she couldn't wait to swallow to exclaim, "Oh my god! This can't be legal!"
I laughed and said, "Very well put!"
Together we inhaled the pizza. Maybe next time we'll order a large. We didn't even have any leftovers.
I drove home and we unloaded the car. Then, unable to face the task of setting all that crap up, I took her grocery shopping.
Before we went to the grocery store I made a side trip to the bank where Amber works. I waited in line to see her. It's early on a Friday afternoon and the bank is pretty busy. Amber didn't notice us until we were almost up to her window. I saw her blush when she saw me. She looked a little flustered. But she put her head down and kept working. There was nothing else she could do.
When I came in I was planning to cash a check when I got up to the window. Just in time I remembered that if I do that she'll find out where I live. I don't want that. So instead I asked for change for a dollar. She knew the real reason for my visit. I was checking to make sure she was dressed the way I ordered.
She was sitting on a tall stool behind the counter with her knees pressed tightly together. It appeared that she had rolled her waistband under as ordered. Her pussy was not much more than a couple of millimeters away from being exposed. If she had to get up from her stool, if her knees shifted only slightly I would have been able to see her crotch.
The top button of her blouse was unbuttoned and there was a lot of cleavage on display. I smiled a friendly smile and quietly ordered her to unfasten another button.
Her blush deepened. She glanced around and carefully unbuttoned another button. I nodded and said, "Leave it that way. It looks great."
It looked like she was half undressed! Her blouse fell open exposing the inner curves of her breasts almost to her nipples!
I took my change and turned to leave. Tawney and I began to walk out when we were intercepted by an older man in a suit. He said, "Excuse me, sir. May I see you in my office for a moment?"
I handed the car keys to Tawney and asked her to wait for me outside. I followed the man to a small hallway and down it to a cozy but well furnished office. As soon as his door was closed he said, "I'm Louis Clark. I'm the branch manager. Please have a seat for a moment."
I sat down. He sat behind his desk. He had a slightly oily look about him that made me think that he didn't disapprove of what he just witnessed but instead was curious.
He cleared his throat and tried to sound as officious as possible when he said, "I have noticed a rather drastic change in the way Mrs. Wright dresses for work in the last two days. But what I just witnessed amazes me. You told her to unbutton that button, didn't you?"
I smiled and nodded.
"Are you responsible for the wardrobe change?"
I nodded again.
He wasn't sure what to ask me next. I decided to make it easy for him.
"Do you object?"
I suppose that he recognized what he assumed must be a kindred spirit. His smile began to grow and he said, "Quite the contrary. I've enjoyed the sudden change in her attire. But I must admit that I'm curious. She has been the epitome of modesty for all the years she has worked here. I'm amazed by the sudden, very uncharacteristic change.
"You aren't her husband. I've met Mr. Wright. Yet you come in here and order her to unbutton her blouse and she obeys without complaint. Has she left her husband for you?"
"No, Mr. Clark. She just does what I tell her. Her husband does, too. It amuses me to embarrass her this way. She'll do anything I tell her to do. I just came in to check on her and maybe turn up the heat a little."
The mixture of excitement and skepticism on his face was interesting to watch. I could almost see his brain working, trying to figure a way to turn this to his advantage.
Finally he asked, "She'll do anything you tell her to do? What does that mean?"
It was obvious that I didn't have to keep dancing around with this old guy and I had things to do. I know a dirty old man when I see one. I cut right to the chase.
"Would you like to fuck her, or get a blowjob? You can. If you'd like I'll tell her to service you whenever you feel the need. Get her in here. She'll do it now if you want."
He did not become a branch manager by being a trusting soul. This he had to see for himself before he would believe it. He picked up his phone and pushed a button. A moment later he said, "Mrs. Dillon. Please send Mrs. Wright into my office right away."
There was a quiet tap at the door a minute later and it opened to admit Amber. From the look of surprise on her face it was obvious that she thought I left with Tawney several minutes ago. She almost freaked out. She must have known as soon as she saw me how this little meeting is going to turn out.
She closed the door and crossed the room to stand in front of his desk, ignoring me. With each step she took her nipples struggled to escape from their confinement. I noticed that the hem of her skirt was just below her crotch. It was perfect!
She was probably praying that this was a nightmare and she would wake up any second now. It is a nightmare. But she's never going to awake from it.
Mr. Clark glanced at me. I said, "Amber. Remove your blouse and your skirt."
She moaned in despair. She looked at Mr. Clark to see his reaction. The expression on his face told her everything she needed to know. Her hands floated up and began to unbutton the few remaining buttons on her blouse. She eased it off of her shoulders and placed it on the corner of the desk.
While she struggled with her skirt I said, "You got Mr. Clark all exited with that slutty outfit. I felt so sorry for him that I've decided to let him use you when he has the time in his busy schedule. From now on you suck his cock or let him fuck you whenever he wants. I'm going to give him my phone number in case he has any trouble with you. But he won't need to call me, will he?"
I almost didn't hear her whisper, "No, sir."
She placed her skirt on top of her blouse. She stood there naked while her boss's eyes roamed her body freely. It was obvious that he appreciated the view.
Mr. Clark pushed his chair back and pointed to the space between his legs. She went around the desk and stood between his legs. I saw the tears streaming down her cheeks as his hands began to explore. It was a waste of water. Neither of us cared.
After a moment or two he pushed her to her knees and struggled to pull his cock out of his suit pants. I stood up and said, "I guess it's safe to assume that you have no problem with the way I'm dressing the cunt now?"
His grin said it all, his grin and the satisfied moan as she took his cock into her lying mouth.
I wrote my phone number on a post-it on his desk and said, "Let me know if the bitch gives you any problems."
I left, satisfied that she would reluctantly obey that dirty old man. I was pleased with myself for significantly increasing the torment she's suffering in her day to day life.
From the bank I drove straight to the grocery store. I originally intended to stop in at the mall and check to see if Dan was wearing panties. But I didn't have the energy to face a mall right now.
Tawney asked me if everything was alright in the bank. I told her what just happened and she got a big kick out of it.
She has been shopping in grocery stores before, of course. But she always ended up with the same things to eat; dry cereal, peanut butter, hot dogs and soup. There were so many treats awaiting her.
She has never tasted pork chops, a standing rib roast, or my world famous homemade lasagna. She has never had English muffins or quiche or even a grilled cheese sandwich! I went a little crazy, again. I bought enough food for an army. I fully intend to spoil the kid rotten until the state takes her away from me.
On the way home from the store she asked, "Would you mind if I start running with you in the morning? I know I'll slow you down at first. I know it will be a while before I can run as fast or as far as you do. But if you'll let me run with you ... I want to spend as much time with you as I can."
I reached over and held her hand. I was just about to tell her that of course she could run with me in the morning when she lifted my hand to her face and started crying like a baby. I pulled over and parked. I leaned across the center armrest and held her until she started to calm down.
It took her a while to get her emotions under control. Finally she sat up and grabbed a tissue from the armrest. She dried her eyes and blew her nose but she was still crying quietly. She looked into my eyes and broke my heart when she said, "Oh god, Paul! I don't want them to take me away. I love you. I'm happy for the first time in my life."
If I wasn't careful I was going to start crying soon, too. I nodded and said, "I don't want them to take you away, either. It doesn't look good. But don't give up yet. I haven't. I'll hire every lawyer in the state if it'll help."
Once she calmed down I drove the rest of the way home. We unloaded the car, again, and put the groceries away. Now it was time for the hard part. All of the things we bought at Best Buys were sitting at the foot of the stairs. I grabbed the big boxes, starting with the television. She grabbed the small things and we started carrying everything up to her room.
I went down to the garage and got my tool box and went right to work. The satellite won't be hooked up until Monday and the cable won't be put in until Tuesday. But I want everything ready when they come to do the installations.
I won't bore you with the details. I worked like a dog until Jon called. I checked the time and saw that Amber should already be home. It's her early day.
I told him that I would meet him at her house. I suggested that it might be best if he doesn't let her find out he's a private investigator. She'd connect the dots immediately. She and Dan are already in the process of plotting our deaths.
He laughed and said, "Let me know if they figure out who I am. But as amusing as they are, don't forget that they've already killed once. Don't let your guard down. I won't."
I promised to listen every day to the recordings of their conversations being picked up by the bugs I planted around their house.
He's right. They seem weak and buffoon-like. But they've proven that they can kill.
Before we hung up he said, "I'll leave the papers you want in my car. You can pick them up when you leave if we don't leave together."
I told Tawney that my detective is on the way to see Amber and I'm going to meet him there to make sure everything goes smoothly. She wanted to go with me but I already deeply regret the two episodes of rape I allowed her to witness.
Instead I set her up in front of the television with a DVD and told her I'd be back before long to start supper. I stood just inside my door and scanned the windows of Amber's house. I couldn't be certain. But it didn't seem like she was watching. I hurried out and crossed the street. I walked up Amber's driveway and went in through the open garage.
Amber screamed when she saw me come in. She was startled. But when she realized it was me she calmed down slightly. She was definitely not happy to see me. But at least she knows who I am and that this isn't a home invasion. She was sitting at the kitchen table with tears in her eyes, obviously feeling sorry for herself.
She looked up and I saw the resignation written all over her face. I wondered if she has become so resigned to her fate that I could come up with nothing so repugnant that she wouldn't do it.
I asked her how she enjoys her new duties at the bank. She glared at me. But she had nothing to say.
I told her that a friend is on the way over. I owe him a great deal and one of the ways I'm going to repay him is to let him do anything he wants to do to her.
She's already so accustomed to being given away for sex after only two days that her expression never changed.
But she flinched when the doorbell rang. She glanced at me and I nodded. She got up and went to the front door to admit Jon.
If she recognized him from the bar she didn't show it. I don't think she did. There were a lot of men there and Jon is the only one who didn't fuck her. He remained seated in his dark corner for the entire time she was there so it's possible she doesn't recognize him.
Jon nodded at me. I smiled and said, "I told her she's yours until you're tired of her."
I turned to Amber and said, "Not just this afternoon, bitch. Any time he wants to fuck your skuzzy ass he's more than welcome to drop by. That won't be a problem will it?"
There was a brief flash of defiance in her eyes. But it melted instantly. She looked down and shook her head dispiritedly.
I watched then as Jon took control. He ordered her to strip. She obeyed instantly. While she undressed I ordered her to tell him what happened to her at work this afternoon.
I was amused to learn that after she sucked Mr. Clark's cock he also fucked her. The guy must be in his late fifties. I wouldn't have thought he had it in him! He certainly didn't look like a sexual athlete.
When she was naked, Jon ordered her to go upstairs and take a shower. He wants her clean when he fucks her. He followed her upstairs. I told him I was leaving but that I'll be home. If he has a problem he's welcome to call me. I'll be more than happy to come back over for a little attitude adjustment.
I didn't leave right away. I noticed the stack of mail on the kitchen table. There was very little junk mail in the stack. It was mainly a large stack of second and third notices from all sorts of lenders and several utilities.
Jon gave me an in-depth analysis of their finances. I know that the problem isn't that they don't make enough money. They make more than enough if they would only live within their means. But they insist on living well above their means while treating Tawney like a scullery maid instead of their daughter.
I was just about to leave when I heard Amber scream. I didn't know the cause. But I couldn't help smiling at the sweet sound. I went back out through the garage. I stopped and got the medical power of attorney from Jon's car and returned to my house. I think that it's safe to assume that Jon is keeping Amber busy and she won't have time to look out her window and see where I live.
I went back to work installing all of the new gadgets in Tawney's room. She sat on the floor beside me while I put her computer together and we talked about whatever popped into her mind.
I couldn't help but be impressed again. As I've said, I don't have much experience with kids. Maybe it's just that she's different because of the horrible way she was raised. But I didn't feel it necessary to relate to her as a child. She's so knowledgeable in so many areas and she's so mature. I was impressed but at the same time I was saddened. She never really had a childhood and that's most likely why she isn't childlike.
I'm determined that for as long as she stays with me I'm going to do everything I can to make that up to her.
By six o'clock I was almost finished in Tawney's room. In any case I was done for the day. I went down and prepared a greasy dinner of home fries with lots of onions and some nice thick pork chops.
After we ate she sat back and said, "I can't keep eating like this! I'll get huge!"
"No. Not if you start running and swimming laps with me. And I don't suppose it would hurt you to join me in the gym downstairs. You can work out with some light weights to tone your muscles. You wouldn't want to look like a Russian weightlifter. But there's nothing wrong with toning up your muscles.
"We won't be eating like this every day, though. I just want to give you a chance to experience some of the things you've missed. We'll start eating a healthier diet before very long."
We cleaned up the kitchen and put our swimsuits on. I hadn't been thinking clearly last night. For some reason I assumed that Tawney could swim. I should have known that she never had an opportunity to go in a pool before. I taught her how to float and how to dog paddle so that she would be safe in the water. Then I started teaching her how to swim. She caught on fast. She wasn't too graceful at first. But with a little practice she'll probably be swimming laps right alongside of me.
I swam my laps while she practiced what I taught her. She was still working on it when I finished my laps. I watched her for a minute and made a couple of suggestions. It was obvious that she was burning a hell of a lot of calories even if she is a long way from graceful.
She swam around a little longer while I sat on the steps and watched. Then we called it a night. We did a lot of shopping today and I believe I already mentioned the fact that it takes a lot out of a person.